Moments of love, moments of our lives
by SingOff-Key
Summary: A continuation of Archer and Maddy's almost love story. Series Part 4 of Maddy & Archer Their Story Continued


Chapter 1: Together again

Maddy awakes from her nightmare gasping for air and with the familiar sickness in her stomach. She races for the washroom, emptying what little she had managed to eat at breakfast into the toilet. (She has missed lunch and doesn't feel like having dinner, either.)

Generally speaking, she hasn't been eating much lately, hasn't been sleeping. It's in this moment that she realizes she's never felt that way before: exhausted, weak, powerless. Yes, Maddy _has_ her bad days. Everyone does. But no matter how bad her days are, she has always managed to find the strength she needs to power through them and get what needs to be done done. Well, at least, up until now.

Despite her wide vocabulary, loss of energy does not exist in it. She likes to think she has some sort of inner motivation, a purpose propelling her forwards. But, _he_ is gone. Archer is gone. And so is her purpose along with him.

She washes her mouth and face, looks up in the mirror. Her cheeks are pale, lacking their usual rosy color, and the tan she had gotten while in Africa has long disappeared. Instead, there are dark circles under her eyes and what seems like a hollow space inside them.

She knows this can't go on for long. At some point, she'll have to set up a doctor's appointment, find out for sure and be advised what to do and what to avoid. That is, if she wants to keep the baby. She chases the thought away as quickly as it came. No, she's keeping it. If she's pregnant, then she's keeping it.

She returns to her bed, sliding gently under the covers. She rests both hands on her stomach, exhales slowly, closes her eyes and opens them again to look up at the ceiling.

For only a moment she lets herself imagine what it would be like to have a child. _His_ child. A child they created together amidst the chaos of a civil war and the horrors of the blood diamond trade surrounding it. She chuckles bitterly to herself. _Diamond in the rough, indeed._

All of a sudden, it doesn't seem that bad. _My little diamond_, she thinks_._ _They will be my little diamond, and I will cherish them the way__**he**__ would want me to. Would he, though?_

She puts a hand over her mouth, fighting the urge to cry. God, what will her family say? Her father had never wished for her to get involved with another military, let alone a 32 Battalion veteran, ex-mercenary and diamond smuggler. What will Solomon think? That Archer forced her? She cannot bear the thought. And what about her colleagues? A journalist is not supposed to sleep with their stories.

She can't bring herself to speculate what Archer might have thought. Would he be happy and supportive, try to become a better man and a good father, perhaps her boyfriend even? Or would he choose to distance himself from the child, be the shadow of a father that sends presents and occasionally comes to visit, but is never actually there? Either way, it hurts.

Maddy turns her head, burying her face in the pillow. She lets her tears spill freely on the white linen now. She pushes herself upwards, sits half-upright. She smacks the pillow. Hard. She bends forward, burying her face in the pillow once again.

"Why did you have to leave me?" she cries into it.

It takes Maddy a couple of hours to feel better– better meaning not a complete mess. She's busying herself with packing up before jetting out tomorrow, when there's suddenly a knock on the door. She goes to open it, and is immediately greeted with Solomon's kind eyes and warm smile.

"Solomon, hi!" she says. "Did you need something?"

"No, Miss Bowen, thank you for asking. I simply came to see if you are okay."

Maddy knows Solomon has noticed. He might have not said a word about it, but she somehow is convinced he's noticed. It's not like she's been her old energetic self since this whole mess started, after all. She rubs a hand over her forehead, tired. "Yeah, I... Um... I'm fine."

"Do you want to come downstairs, then?" Solomon suggests. "We were going to have dinner."

"Thanks, but I don't really feel like it."

"You missed lunch too." he points out, then immediately adds: "Mr. Archer would not want you to get sick."

The tone in his voice throws her. Since they first arrived in London, they've spoken of Archer only once or twice. Maddy assumes it's because of her silent mourning and Solomon not wanting to cause any more pain to either of them. Whenever Archer was mentioned, it was usually brief and sad, almost same as the way people speak of deceased old relatives or ancestors. This time the mention of him is different in that it makes Maddy think that Archer will be waiting in the lobby when she gets downstairs. Well, if only for a moment.

They take the stairs on the way down, which Maddy is silently thankful for because the motion of the elevator makes her quite dizzy nowadays. Once they've reached the lobby, they turn right and enter the hotel dining area.

Coming from the brightly-lit lobby, the dining area seems rather dark, illuminated only by the faint yellow light of the chandeliers above. The space is large and cozy, with old-fashioned furniture and retro decoration. There's also a window, which Maddy assumes would provide a view of the busy street outside if not for the curtain blocking out the light entirely.

The dining area is quite crowded at this time in the afternoon and it takes Maddy a few moments to spot Solomon's family sitting on the far right corner of the room, in front of the window. As they near their table, Maddy notices there's another person sitting with Jassie and the kids, but she's unable to make out who they are exactly. Until the distance between them closes enough that she's finally able to get a better look at the person.

Instantly, her heart leaps with hope despite her brain screaming at her- _no, it can't be him; he's dead_. Her heart rate begins to pick up and she's pretty sure she's forgotten how to breathe, until his eyelashes lift and she's staring into his fascinating blue eyes.

Every noise from the restaurant gets completely drowned out and her world seems to have downsized to this one person, now rising from the table to close the remaining distance between them.

"Hello, Maddy." he says softly, touching the side of her arm. He offers a genuine smile, but she's too dazed to smile back.

Archer somehow senses her confusion, but since feelings never were his strong suit, he tries to dissipate the mood by telling a particularly lame joke.

"What's wrong, Maddy?" he asks, with slightly more than a hint of care in his voice. "You look like you've seen a ghost, huh?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Solomon shaking his head at his poor attempt in humor, but it has Maddy laugh, nonetheless.

Archer chuckles, content that he's managed to bring a small smile on Maddy's lips. Without warning, Maddy throws her tiny torso in his arms and, although initially caught by surprise, Archer responds by encircling her waist and holding her tightly to himself.

Suddenly, Maddy becomes overwhelmed by this new reality. Her brave facade shatters to pieces and her eyes well up. Before she even realizes it, tears wet her cheeks and begin streaming down her face, with little chance of stopping.

"You're here." she whispers. "You're really here." she repeats in between her sobs.

Archer doesn't say a word, only cradles her head, stroking her dark hair and tentatively tucking it behind her ears. "What's wrong, darling?" he asks again after a while, raising her chin so that she can look up at him. "I'm not dying again, I promise, ja?"

Maddy nods her head halfheartedly, then wipes at her eyes with her palms. She takes a few deep breaths, attempting to compose herself.

"Come on, let's sit you down." he says, guiding her towards the table and, even though she's had nowhere near enough of holding him, Maddy obliges.

"I don't understand... how?..." Maddy finds her voice again, once seated down. Archer and she have sat next to each other, and she rubs the sides of his arm softly as she speaks.

"Solomon came back for me." Archer answers simply, never breaking eye contact.

"Thank you." Maddy says to Solomon with a truly grateful expression on her face. "But why didn't you tell me? I have contacts, I could help." She tries to hide the hurt from being left out, but Solomon sees it, nonetheless. He doesn't blame her.

"I'm sorry." Solomon offers an earnest apology. "You deserved to know Mr. Archer was alive, but it would not be safe."

"Once Van de Kaap found out I wasn't dead, they would do everything in their power to make sure I was. And you know where they would start, huh? My living connections. It could put you in real danger." He waves a hand between her and Solomon's family. "All of you. I would not have wanted that, huh."

"So, you thought it best to just leave me thinking you were dead?" She didn't mean to snap or be accusatory or something, yet that's what it comes out as. Archer looks at her with sad eyes, so sad in fact that his blue eyes seem grey. Solomon keeps his head down, like a child being scolded for a bad action they did not commit, yet make no effort to defend themselves.

"I'm sorry, Maddy." Archer replies after a moment, his eyelids lowered, his voice quiet. He raises his eyelids to look straight into her eyes, taking her small hand in both his big ones. "We kept you in the dark only because back then it seemed like the safest option."

She nods her head halfheartedly, tears boiling behind her eyes. Her mind is fully capable of comprehending the reasons why this was necessary. Her heart, on the other hand, wishes more than anything that she could have been there for him while he was giving his greatest battle yet– the one for his life.

Archer seems to have somehow guessed her unspoken words because he runs his thumb across her cheek. A tear escapes her left eye, following the same course as his thumb, before it falls. Maddy closes her eyes and tilts her head towards his hand, responding to his touch. Archer cups her chin, then lifts it with his index finger, forcing her to look up at him. As if by instinct, Maddy's eyes open, and Archer speaks again softly.

"But, I'm here now– Solomon has helped me to get here–" He waves his other hand towards the black man appreciatively, and Solomon bows his head slightly as if to say 'you're welcome'. "and that's all that matters, ja?"

They are in her room, nestled in each other's arms on the bed. Archer has just finished telling Maddy about what happened after they said goodbye on the phone that day and how Solomon saved him. He's also informed her of Solomon's willingness to keep their deal and give Archer half the money from the diamond.

"Have you decided where you want to go next?" she asks, slightly turning her head to look up at him. "What you want to do from now on?"

Archer makes a face, as if to say planning ahead was never his thing; so far in his life he's been a man of action. "Decided, no." he dismisses her choice of word. "But, there's one thing I know for sure, ja?"

"And what's that?" she asks, a hint of curiosity to her voice.

"I'm going to retire from smuggling, huh." he states matter-of-factly.

"Well, isn't it a cliché!" Maddy remarks, and they both burst out laughing. Afterwards, Maddy rolls her head to look up at him and asks seriously: "How about coming to New York with me?" And because that suggestion sounds way too personal, way too intimate, way too _caring_ (and he neither needs nor wants anybody to care for him; he's made that clear) she adds quickly: "Solomon and his family are coming too. I know you're not a big fan of the idea, but you might like America. I can show you around, and provided that you like it, we can start looking for jobs and a house."

He doesn't answer for a moment; he really looks like he's considering it. When he opens his mouth again to speak, he only asks: "We?"

Maddy looks at him questioningly. "You said 'we can start looking for jobs and a house'." he helps her memory. Of course she said it, even if she didn't mean to– she remembers saying it now– because whenever she thinks of him, she imagines him _with_, not without her. It's hard to go back to living without him, in a universe he does not exist or she simply ignores his existence.

Maddy blinks, feigning innocence. "Really? I said 'we'?"

He nods in confirmation. "Ja." He's staring at her intently.

"Sorry, slip of the tongue; I meant 'you'." she says casually, but Archer swears she's blushing. "So, what do you say?" she changes the subject.

"A'right, I'll go to America with you." Maddy squeals and claps her hands together excitedly like a five-year-old. Archer rolls his eyes. "But..." he clarifies, raising his voice a little to be heard above her cries of joy. "... I never said I'm going to adopt the American lifestyle as well."

Maddy smiles with just the corners of her mouth, as though having expected this. "I really admire your open-minded Rhodesian attitude!" she comments, beginning to pick up on his irony.

"Always." Archer replies rather pointedly, but it's amusement he's trying to hide.


End file.
